Finding Identity in our Accomplishments.

BBQ Sauce and Identity - yes this is the title of this blog

What brought you to this blog post? Was it the ridiculous title? Maybe you saw the word identity, and you are trying to discover yours? Maybe you came across this blog post because you desire to live your life with intention? Perhaps you’ve found yourself on one too many lunch “breaks” running from one meeting to the next. You're stuffing your face full of fast food in one hand while driving with the other (please don't do this!) then you realize a glob of BBQ sauce gets all over your hands and outfit. Trying not to swerve more than you already have between bites, you open your glove box for your emergency go-to napkin stash. You find your napkin collection has been completely depleted! The thought, ”what am I actually doing??” comes to mind as you’ve clearly been in this situation many times before. Wait, did that sound way too specific???

For many years, I struggled to find my identity in what I accomplished, and let’s face it, I still do. I’ve been overcommitted to the point of working four jobs at a time as not only a necessity but also as a proud badge I would wear. I stretched myself thin and was proud of the impressive status and job titles I held at such a young age. At the end of one stage, I would QUICKLY jump into the NEXT THING in order to continue to sound impressive and make sure people knew I was worth something. Ouch, did that hit home for you like it did for me? I thought the accomplishments written on my resume actually told me that I was worth something? Boy, was I wrong!

This has been a repetitious cycle for a lot of my working life, and I started working at a very young age. If you know any good stories, most dramatic tales of super broken people have an intriguing breaking point - my situation is not unique but here’s the dirt: I knew I was expecting my first child, and I continued to put myself in situations where I would be overworked. This meant despite my best efforts, I was in an identity crisis. I just wasn’t wise enough to know it. Or let's face it, I didn't make the time to take a step back and evaluate what I was doing or where I was going.

Where did this bring me? 8 months pregnant, owning 2 businesses on top of working a 3rd job. I was grumpy, stressed, rushed, snappy, and not at all the wife or mother that I wanted to be. I was in way over my head and it took way too long to do something about it.

Bye Bye BBQ

This past Spring, I decided that my days of rushing between jobs, stuffing my face with bbq topped fast food needed to be given a serious evaluation. Stepping away from the unhealthy way of life that was not serving our family was the best thing I did. Now I am attempting to create vocational boundaries in order to use my life more intentionally for a greater purpose than resume building activities. This new season of saying “goodbye to the BBQ” (ok, let’s be honest, I still love my BBQ sauce, but for the sake of the analogy, you know what I mean, right?) and seeking intentionality in my schedule is where I need to be. Trusting that as I take each day in dependance of faith and relinquish control, things will be ok. 

I have to recognize that grace fills in the gaps of my shortcomings. Oh, and guess what?? I still fail big time, because it is a daily struggle to remind myself, “Ok Emma, the cleanliness of the house, extent of activities I plan for our son, the caliber of meal that is planned for dinner, and work that is accomplished today doesn’t actually define me.” If I don’t complete everything today, that’s totally ok! It’s actually necessary to remember that I’m not the one in control and I can’t and shouldn’t think I can do everything, because those accomplishments don’t define me!

Where does my Identity come from?

I am a woman of faith. What exactly does that mean? I am a Christian. I believe John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” That may have taken you back to elementary Sunday School, but what I just shared with you is the good news of the gospel. Jesus is who I live for, who I find my identity in, who loves me more than even makes sense to me! Seriously - God, the one who laid the foundations of the earth, controls the sea, literally controls the sun, time, everything…Our Heavenly Father loves me?? Yes, since I am so loved, especially when I don’t think I deserve it, my words and actions can’t help but  point to Him. Everything I do and share is so deeply integrated with my faith because it is literally who I am. So this is why you will see a lot of the content created here at Bungalow House Studio referring to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior and Scripture from His Word, the Bible. My hope is that this does not turn you away, but that it in turn encourages you to think a little bit differently about your identity too. 

My hope is that maybe with what I share, it might just help another woman break the cycle of believing she has to find her worth in what she does. That she will understand that she is loved unconditionally too, no matter what she does or who she is. That the grace that comes from our Father in Heaven is sufficient. That you don’t have to do this life on your own. That the very One who created you, wants to be in fellowship with you. He wants your heart and did not create you to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Seek Him. Know that He is the only place where you will find your true identity.

From the Bungalow, 

Emma

P.S. This was a pretty weighty blog for a title with BBQ sauce in it, I know. If you need prayer or want to talk more about what I shared in this blog, please feel free to reach out. While I don’t have all the answers, I will enjoy the journey of finding them together!